Some expert advice on how long you should wait before resuming sex after delivery, and how you can help your partner cope in the meantime. At a six-week postpartum check, your doctor will tell you whether or not it is okay to continue having sex.

You may have heard stories from friends who had not had postpartum sex for six months and it was not a short time before resuming sex, especially if you have pain caused by stitches or tears. But it is important to respect your partner’s needs.

“The worst nightmare that many husbands have is that they will be rejected and replaced by children,” says sexologist Ava Cadell, Ph.D., author of Twelve Steps to Everlasting Love.

Start by explaining to your husband how you are currently. Explain any sensitive or sore spots, and gently remind her that it may take some time for you to have sex again after giving birth.

Don’t set a schedule for when you will resume sex, but see how you feel after waiting a few more weeks. Who knows? you might change your mind. No matter how long you choose to wait, don’t be completely away from your husband. Instead, try to be open-minded and suggest compromises that can make both of you happy.

“Kissing and cuddling is mandatory,” says Cadell. “If you kiss passionately several times a day, I guarantee it will get the passion flowing again,” he added. Oral sex can also be a great substitute for sexual intercourse.

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